Monday Morning Thoughts: White Girls Can't Jump?

Last February, a bride approached me at a bridal show because she needed some advice.

She noticed that my portfolio showcased numerous multicultural weddings, and she was hoping that I could help her with an issue.

You see, the bride (Caucasian) and the groom (African American) planned to Jump the Broom at the end of their wedding ceremony.  When they shared this detail with family, a few family members (on both sides of the family) expressed their concern about the bride participating in this tradition because of the history behind Jumping the Broom.  The tradition meant a lot to the groom but the bride was concerned that her participation would only anger family members. (I have a sneaky suspicion that it will only anger the vocal few, but I digress.)

Here's my take (not the facts, just my take):

1. Based on the info that I've collected over the years, Jumping the Broom is a wedding tradition (primarily practiced in the African American community) that is carried out to honor ancestors.  Shortly after a couple is declared husband and wife, they take a moment to pay respect to the ancestors that literally planted the seeds of their family tree.  This tradition is not carried out to honor slavery; this tradition is carried out to celebrate a new beginning.  And it is a tradition that is carried out to pay homage to the ancestors and their will to unite as a family in spite of slavery.

With that being said, is it really inappropriate for this couple to participate in this tradition?  Absolutely not. In my experience, I have seen a bride with Southern Baptist roots get married under a chuppah, a groom with Irish roots participate in Korean wedding traditions, and an American groom actively participate in Ethiopian wedding traditions.  Every single one of those mentioned ceremonies brought me (and everyone involved) to tears.

2. "It's Not Easy Being Green."  Weddings are full of emotion when you bring together a bride and groom from the same background -- When you sprinkle in diverse factors such as religion, culture, race and gender, you kick the emotional scale up 200%.  Embrace your diversity, respect it, and celebrate it.  And come to terms with the fact that it may not be embraced or respected by all of your family members (not right away anyhow).  Like Kermit the Frog said, diversity is not always easy.

3. Blending family and cultural traditions are one of the many reasons why weddings are so beautiful.  Work with your parents, your officiant, and your planner to figure out the best way to perform the wedding traditions that matter most to the both of you.  And I have found that a brief explanation in the wedding program goes a long way to helping your guests understand why the various traditions are so special.

4. Enjoy your wedding day.  The "beauty" of family events, such as weddings, is the fact that you will receive "unsolicited" advice and feedback no matter what you do.  This is your wedding day.  Take in what is necessary, and work with your trusted family members to incorporate traditions and rituals that represent both of your backgrounds.  After all, inclusivity is what you were trying to do in the first place.

Love & Soul Always, Kay

(Jumping the Broom Art: Annie Lee)

Comments

[LaKendra of Affairs With Elegance]

I think it's okay for them to jump the broom. It's the same as when the bride and groom are of different ethnicities/heritages. Asian, Jewish, Indian, etc. cultures all have set traditions that are usually inccorporated in wedding ceremonies. I don't think this is any different.

Just my two cents.

[Wendy]

Excellent post Kay! Issues involving race are never popular but you've done a great job in explaining how we "should" do it!

[Andria of Andria Lewis Events]

She should absolutely be able to Jump The Broom. At the time this practice began mixed races were not allowed to marry. I thinking Jumping The Broom in this couple's case can mean just as much, if not more, than when it began.

[isha]

Thank you for addressing this so eloquently. I agree wholeheartedly and think it will be a unifying gesture.

[Emilie Duncan]

Well said Kay! I think the blending of families and the the blending on traditions is what makes each and every wedding special. Good for the bride and groom for honoring what is special to THEM.

[saundra, event engineer]

This was such a great post, Kay. Thank your for sharing.

[Tamara]

There's some interesting history on this website--though I'm not sure of the source: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com/ceremonybroom.html

Sounds like this is an opportunity for this couple to educate the family and guests--and set the tone for their life together in a culturally blended family. What if they write a lovely statement about the broom jumping tradition (in the program, on a table card at the reception) and the reason they felt it was important? Informs people of the history, let's people know where the couple's "head is" and nips naysayers in the bud (the vocal ones and the ones who will just grumble among themselves).

Frankly, I'd even recommend this for African American couples, who may or may not know the history--and may or may not be comfortable jumping the broom because of the perceived history.

[Kawania (Kay) Wooten]

You are so right Andria. I never thought of it that way.

Love & Soul Always, Kay

[Kawania (Kay) Wooten]

Thanks for the information Tam.

Love & Soul Always, Kay

[Liene at The Smart Planner]

Spot on, Kay.

[Christina at chillweddings]

Great post! Thank you for sharing.

[kristen]

I am geting married to an african american in august and i was wondering about this. I am also very irish and in the irish culture they have done the jumping of the broom to symbolize good fertility. We have a four year old daughter and i feel she should be very involved in all her ethnicity! I was unsure about jumping the broom at our wedding cause i didnt know how other will feel about it. I have strong feelings about it and the way you put it cleared the way for me. Thank you so much!