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Ahh! The bride in that picture was me -- 16 years ago today.
If I could transport myself back to her, I would tell that young bride to trust all of the wedding day details she planned. She should dance with her husband as much as she can. And, she should relax.
Everything is going to work out just fine.
Oh, and I would have told her to hire a professional wedding planner!
Happy Anniversary Chris Wooten!
Love & Soul Always, Kay
(Photo: Vince Cowan Photography)
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I heard about a wedding reception where the photographer and the florist placed their business cards on each of the dinner tables. And, the deejay had a fairly large promotional sign next to his music table. There were so many signs, business cards and postcards that the storyteller felt like she was watching a Nascar Race!
Here's the deal -- In most cities, the wedding industry is small. A wedding vendor's reputation will continue to improve as s/he excels at weddings and events. And, that good reputation will result in referrals from venue coordinators, other wedding vendors and the happy couples.
So, a vendor shouldn't have to use a couple's wedding as an advertising opportunity. It's simply not the place for it, and the vendor's service to the couple should provide plenty of advertising.
Love and Soul Always, Kay
(Photo: Codinghorror.com)
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Sharing of Love.
"Love cannot exist in isolation or autonomously because love shares itself with another. Love requires a lover and a beloved, a giver and a receiver. It is the receptivity of love that makes it gift."
— from The Humility of God
(Photo: Morningstar Photography)
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A couple of years ago, I got a pricing inquiry from a bride.
Her money was tight, so she wanted to know how much it would cost for me to show up at her wedding reception for a couple of hours on her wedding day.
"Wha?!?"
This request reminded me of the scene in the 1980's parody of blaxploitation movies, "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!"
"How much for just one rib?!?"
Now, I'm not trying to poke fun at this bride.
I just want you to see how challenging it is to extract a tiny portion of a wedding planner's service and successfully experience the planner's full value.
Before a wedding planner can fully execute your wedding day, we typically need to know and understand the details that you have created, the wedding day stakeholders (i.e, your mama, your fiance/fiancee), the players and most of all, your wedding day expectations.
And, we can't do that by just "showing up."
If anyone tells you that they can, you should run away as quick as you can.
Love and Soul Always, Kay
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If I were the "wedding goddess," . . .
1. I would make the act of "forgetting to RSVP" against the law.
2. I would require people stop blaming their culture for being tardy.
3. I would delete the word, "bridezilla," "groomzilla" and all of the other "zillas" from the wedding industry dictionary.
4. I would add some diversity to the wedding magazine covers. Seriously folks. This is ridiculous.
5. I would make all 50 states understand that equal rights should include the right to marry.
6. I would make sure that we never (ever) hear of another story of a bridal salon, photographer or even a wedding planner leaving a couple high and dry.
And, 7. I would make sure that each and every wedding exceeded a bride's expectations.
Have a great week!
Love and Soul Always, Kay
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There may be a moment in your wedding planning when you select a flower or an invitation or a dress that is absolutely perfect.
This selection is so perfect to you that you get butterflies in your stomach every time you think about it.
Now imagine that your mom, girlfriend or co-worker is not thrilled with your "perfect selection."
What do you do?
Do you change your mind? or Cry? or Fuss at your Planner for letting you think that your perfect decision was . . . well perfect.
No. You don't do any of those things.
You keep on loving your perfect flower or your perfect dress or your perfect invitation. And know that everyone isn't going to like the same things that you like.
And, that's okay.
Because this is your wedding.
Love and Soul Always, Kay
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I come from a fairly large family filled with siblings, my beloved Fat Daddy, my mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, "play cousins," godparents . . . you get the picture.
So, my version of parents included any "elder" in the family.
Since I started Howerton+Wooten Events, I've seen so many new versions of parents -- single moms, single dads, divorced parents, stepmoms, stepdads, grandparents, godparents, two moms, two dads, aunts, uncles.
Life doesn't always present us with the family dynamic that you see on The Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver.
But, I have found that this is okay with most brides and grooms. Why?
Because, how you define your parents doesn't matter nearly as much as the love, encouragement and support you receive from them throughout your life.
I know, I know. It sounds cheesy. But, you know I am speaking the truth!
Love and Soul Always, Kay
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I really enjoy watching wedding planning shows and movies.
Unfortunately, I find them frustrating too.
Why? Because, wedding shows and wedding movies can distort a couples’ view of wedding planning. Creating expectations that are a tad unrealistic.
Here are my truths –
So, what is the bottom line here? “Don’t believe everything you see on TV.”
Love and Soul Always, Kay
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In my previous life (500 years ago), my best friend, Juana, and I baked cakes for friends and family. As time went on, we began selling these cakes. We didn't do a bad job at it either.
After working at our "day jobs," we would come home and bake these tasty treats. Then, we would decorate them using our homemade buttercream icing, parchment triangles and our beloved collection of Wilton tips.
We were a couple of hot, young bakers!
As time moved on, we started getting requests for wedding cakes. And, we said yes. We thought to ourselves, "This is no big deal. Just a large cake!" Right? Wrong!
We were not prepared for the amount of time it took to prep, decorate, and refine a wedding cake for 150 people. We didn't have the experience to know that cream cheese icing was not a good idea for a wedding cake at an outdoor wedding reception. And, goodness knows -- We stunk at transporting that cake. It was a scene ripped from an "I Love Lucy" episode -- complete with falling sugar flowers and a knuckle full of icing. Oy!
So, what am I trying to tell you?
1. The next time you hire a wedding vendor, don't just look at their portfolio. Ask them about their experience working on weddings. Better yet, ask them about their experience working on weddings at your selected venue.
2. Ask your wedding vendor about their education and training. Ask your wedding vendors where they honed their skills. Ask them about their current professional development. The wedding industry is constantly changing -- You want a vendor who values their craft enough to keep it sharp and fresh.
3. Ask a lot of questions and do your research. Make sure that you make an educated decision, so do your homework. Check the vendor's references. Ask the vendor if they are licensed and insured. After you ask each question, pay attention to their answers. And, ask the about their business philosophy -- you may or may not care that you are one of 15 brides they are servicing during your wedding weekend, but it is good to know beforehand.
4. Don't be fooled by the super low prices. Our prices were substantially less than our competition because 1.) We didn't know what to charge; 2.) We had no overhead because 3.) we had no experience baking a wedding cake.
5. Ask them for an agreement. When we baked our first wedding cake, we didn't have an agreement with our bride. Many times that night, we wanted to give up on the cake. Fortunately, "giving up" wasn't an option for us -- But, we could have. There was nothing binding us to the wedding except our promise.
So, the next time you hire your wedding vendor, remember the lessons learned from my brief life as a 23-year-old wedding cake baker. It could make a difference in your wedding day.
Love and Soul Always, Kay
BTW: The Wedding Cake turned out fine. And, the bride and groom didn't have any clue about our numerous challenges.
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Just so you know, a professional wedding planner would have --
A.) Thought of the outdoor pests beforehand, and recommended leaving the cake inside until right before the cake cutting.
B.) Placed some oscillating fans near the cake/buffet to discourage the outdoor insects and animals.
C.) Placed the cake within a decorative canopy
- or -
D.) Determined an animal and insect control plan beforehand to prevent animals and pests from "crashing the wedding reception."
Enjoy an excellent week!
Love and Soul Always, Kay
(I am not sure of the photo source. My best buddy Juana sent this to me.)
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